Fantasy Armor: “At Least My Boobs Are Safe”

When I’m not busy writing, studying, or doing homework, I like to procrastinate, usually from doing any of those things I just mentioned.

One of my time-passers is World of Warcraft. Now, I’m not a very dedicated player – every now and then (usually around this time of year) I tend to resubscribe for a month or so. I think my longest streak was four months, and I only reached, like, level 50. WoW players will note that I underestimated “not very dedicated.”

So, in my latest foray, I’ve got a character at level 57, and she – yes, she – is a badass Retribution Paladin. But now she’s wearing this shit:


It’s actually pretty typical of fantasy games to have minimal armor for female characters, but no one has ever been able to give a good reason for it. I mean, freaking Brienne of Tarth wears full armor in Game of Thrones and pulls it off, so why the hell is my character now wearing metal coconuts? Before you ask, it was a huge upgrade over my previous breastplate (the name for which is only worn with smug, pun-loving pride by this debacle) so it wasn’t exactly worth downgrading just so I wouldn’t be passively feeding into sexism.

Part of me wants to say it’s no big deal, but that’s the part of me that remembers enjoying the model viewers and developer art of certain characters from certain games… like Taki from Soul Calibur II. But that was high school, and now, ten years later, impractical character design bugs me. Similarly, on Zelda Eternity, I made my remarks on Cia from Hyrule Warriors, and I stand by my views. These kinds of armor are not only demeaning, but they also lead to very awkward conversations.

I did consider the angle that maybe the male version of this armor was similarly revealing – I’ve seen male midriff on my previous male character’s armor, after all – but here’s the same armor on the male version of this character’s race:


See, that guy’s not in danger of any gut shots any time soon, but at least my boobs are still safe.



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