Fantasy Armor: “At Least My Boobs Are Safe” 2

When I’m not busy writing, studying, or doing homework, I like to procrastinate, usually from doing any of those things I just mentioned.

One of my time-passers is World of Warcraft. Now, I’m not a very dedicated player – every now and then (usually around this time of year) I tend to resubscribe for a month or so. I think my longest streak was four months, and I only reached, like, level 50. WoW players will note that I underestimated “not very dedicated.”

So, in my latest foray, I’ve got a character at level 57, and she – yes, she – is a badass Retribution Paladin. But now she’s wearing this shit:


It’s actually pretty typical of fantasy games to have minimal armor for female characters, but no one has ever been able to give a good reason for it. I mean, freaking Brienne of Tarth wears full armor in Game of Thrones and pulls it off, so why the hell is my character now wearing metal coconuts? Before you ask, it was a huge upgrade over my previous breastplate (the name for which is only worn with smug, pun-loving pride by this debacle) so it wasn’t exactly worth downgrading just so I wouldn’t be passively feeding into sexism.

Part of me wants to say it’s no big deal, but that’s the part of me that remembers enjoying the model viewers and developer art of certain characters from certain games… like Taki from Soul Calibur II. But that was high school, and now, ten years later, impractical character design bugs me. Similarly, on Zelda Eternity, I made my remarks on Cia from Hyrule Warriors, and I stand by my views. These kinds of armor are not only demeaning, but they also lead to very awkward conversations.

I did consider the angle that maybe the male version of this armor was similarly revealing – I’ve seen male midriff on my previous male character’s armor, after all – but here’s the same armor on the male version of this character’s race:


See, that guy’s not in danger of any gut shots any time soon, but at least my boobs are still safe.



About David Shank

David T. Shank is a writer, runner, and musician, in that order. His blog is hopefully an oasis among the vast ocean of negativity that is the Internet. He lives in Cleveland studying how to write good.

Got something to say? Say it!

2 thoughts on “Fantasy Armor: “At Least My Boobs Are Safe”

  • forgottenrat

    It’s not nearly the big deal it used to be anymore–with transmogrification, you can change any piece of armor into any other piece of armor you own (almost) as long as it’s the same body part and type (plate to plate, etc.) I don’t think I’ve had a character wearing a piece of armor that actually looks like itself for a couple of years now. 🙂

    • David Shank Post author

      Good point! I’ve considered transmogrification, but personally, I’ve always felt like part of the fun of roleplaying games is getting new armor and weapons and seeing what they look like. It might just be because I used to play a lot of Final Fantasy and damn did they have some interesting weapon design. So I guess since then, changing the look of an item just because I don’t like it seems like cheating?

      Then again, I use WoW-Pro Guides, which is even closer to cheating lol Honestly, if I don’t find a replacement by level 60, I’ll probably use a transmog AddOn.

      Thanks for stopping by!